How to Love When You’re Angry

“Where there is great love, there are always miracles.” – Willa Cather

There has never been a more important time to love. Incidentally, it’s also the hardest time to love. I’m sure everyone reading this knows what I’m talking about. Between the fired-up political climate and day to day living, it’s easy to be angry. It’s even easier to give it right back.

You could call me a bridge builder. Relationships are important to me, and when problems arise I do everything I can to find a solution. Conflict is healthy and a necessary part of life. Without conflict/tension nothing changes.  

But lately I’ve been having a really hard time practicing what I preach… and that makes me feel like a total hypocrite.  

I got some criticism for going to the Women’s March in Boston, which was hard because the day was deeply meaningful for me. So, I was angered by some of the harsh criticism of myself and the march  And I felt unsure of myself. As a Christian and an artist, it’s a hard line to walk, but it is important to stand for progress, justice and peace while also being tolerant and loving others.

Sidenote: One thing I want to vent about for a second, because I just don’t understand it, is the issue of lumping groups of people into a category. Painting people with a broad stroke makes me so angry. Each person is complex, with unique life experiences. So how can you put anyone into a box. Feel free to comment/respond to this 🙂

It’s interesting, when I started writing this blog a few days ago, (I’ve re-written it about a million times) I kept thinking about my long-time friend and mentor, Trina Harmon and her wise words…

“Anger is the voice of change.”

Anger is important. Like pain in the body, anger is an indicator that something isn’t right. It is an indicator that something needs to change. If we dismiss our anger and the anger of others, it gets worse and seeps into everything around it. Anger then becomes toxic, like an untreated wound.

That means that choosing to love when you’re angry is what we all need to do. And for each person that might look different, but you’ll know it’s love because it’s kind and cares for everyone.

I understand that this is very, very difficult to do, but here’s something to try:

Every time someone makes you upset, take a deep breath in, let it out, listen with your heart and find a kind way to respond.

Responding with love can look like “I care about how you feel and value you, but I need some time to process what you’ve said. Can we continue this conversation later?”

I am actually taking this week to do the “Loving Kindness Meditation” from Trina Harmon’s app #Soulnotes, to see how it helps me to love others when I get angry. I need this meditation y’all! I’m hoping it will give me insights and new ideas to share with you on our show.

Let me make my final point: Get back to love. Gandhi said, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” Or as I would say, “Be the LOVE you wish to see in the world.” Don’t avoid anger or let it take over the world. Lead by example. Did I already say “Be the LOVE?” Be the LOVE.

Love is the miracle we ALL need.  

Listen to our show “How to Love When You’re Angry” HERE

You can get Trina Harmon’s #Soulnotes App HERE

 

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